Blue Blink

They say life is but a heartbeat… for some this heartbeat spans 50 earth years -  maybe more. for some, not even half…

I guess it springs from the idea that the most vital sign that one is alive is the heartbeat. Take away one, could mean the end of one’s journey on this earth. But does it also come from the truth that the very center of one’s life is what is in his/her heart?  That what one holds dear is what controls his/her very life?

We have known each other for so many years. We have parted ways and found ourselves meeting on the same path. We have seen each other through even the darkest of moments.  Ours isn’t the ordinary friendship that anyone can find. Ours, until now, I cannot define….

We spent our younger years discovering things in life. We shared common things as abstract as poetry, as animated as stage,  as profound as love and life. Then, we wandered off to our own interests.. pursued our dreams… yet continued to cherish what we shared. I found you among the crowd. Bridged by an acquaintance who turned out to be a pal from your childhood. Life can be playful sometimes, huh… And so we basked again in sunshine of our friendship. We brought back memories of the life we led separately. We brought ourselves into each other’s world…

But you have obligations now. And the beautiful life that our dear friends have ordained for us when we were younger is more bleak than the sunshine before the rain. But I cannot keep you from where you want to be. Nor can I stop from becoming who you want to be, if only I want you to be happy.

I had my chance, I realized… I had every opportunity to feel for you. But I was too insensitive then. Too self-absorbed to notice you were there… Too numb to feel the warmth of your love… Why is it then that I feel this sorrow… this guilt… this regret… I know I should have paid more attention… to you, your smile, your life… it was just a heartbeat… but what a heartbeat I missed… Have i finally realized…? Could it be?… Could I have loved you a hearbeat too late?